Comments, Comments

This post isn't about my yarn shop, I don't have one, and I don't even hope to own a knitting store one day. This was just something I scribbled when I was practicing my Spencerian Script recently. It's so pretty, that I thought you might enjoy it too, and it's somewhat related to my post for today. Ok, it's a little bit of a stretch. I just wanted something to illustrate my topic for today: the comments board, something you might see at this store or at the local Y.

Anyhow, I enjoy reading them. They're a hoot and such an insight into shoppers' obsessions. I read a bunch recently that were so entertaining, I had to write them down on a paper plate. A napkin wouldn't do. These were on the Bakery section of the bulletin board under Customer Communication:

Please add sugar-free fruit to your bakery assortment.

Response:
Sugar-free pies are available by special order. Please ask a Bakery Team Member to order for you.
(Signed) Team member, Jean, Concierge

Dated 1/19/08, this was also amusing:

I am a loyal customer and I am concerned that you're phasing out the Kashi Heart to Heart Instant Oatmeal. PLEASE don't. I went to both stores today and there was none in stock. Sincerely, Talaya J. (Evanston)

Jean ever so politely wrote in response:

Dear Customer, It's on the shelf! Sometimes the distributor or producer is out of stock. Thanks for shopping here!

There were other pleas and urgent requests posted on the produce section of the board, but I didn't get around to reading those. But I will. I must. I have to read everything that crosses my path and I was sorely disappointed that there no comments posted at my local Y where I work out. They must have cleaned them out, especially my note asking if they would be getting a Power Plate anytime soon.

Those queries and questions got me thinking. What if a yarn shop had similar kinds of posts on an in-store board? What would knitters ask? How would the owners or employees respond? (That's how my picture is somewhat related to this post.)

Here are some questions I would ask and here's how I might answer (if I owned a yarn shop):

Customer Comments

Question: Why do I find bits of wood (yes, timber!) in my Noro Kureyon yarn? It makes knitting a little difficult and I'm afraid to get a splinter in my finger.

Answer: We don't know why there's wood in your yarn. But other people have asked us this question. So you are not alone. Just get this straight: we're not chopping elm trees in the back room, so those cellulose fibers aren't our fault. Maybe parts of a wooden spinning wheel are getting swept up in the yarn. We don't know. Email the folks at Noro and ask 'em. If you're afraid of getting a splinter, don't knit with this yarn. Yes, it's that simple.

Question: Why don't you have Wenlan Chia's latest book?

Answer: We're not terribly fond of Wenlan Chia's work, to be honest. Virtually every pattern is made from chunky yarn, which knits up at about two stitches per inch and doesn't flatter any woman who wears a B-cup size bra or larger. However, don't let our opinions stop you from using her patterns if you're so inclined. We're certain that the nearest chain book store of your choice will stock Chia's book. Good luck!


A little snarky, I know. What would you ask your LYS (local yarn store) if you could do so anonymously on a board?