Dear. C, Another Letter

Dear C. -

Yesterday was just the worst. Here I was attempting to solve problems between us, and I had to deal with terrible traffic nearly everywhere. Cars, cars, cars, trying to go Andersonville Midsommarfest, Ribfest, Bluesfest and the Cubs Game. We have a terrific transit system here and it seemed like not enough locals were using it if the back-ups on the Kennedy were any indication.

I just cannot tell you how frustrated I am with you. It's not you personally, in a sense. Maybe it's just the relationship. I'm trying to figure out where I fit in. Each time I try a new approach, I'm stymied big-time. Each time I cry, "Time out!," I find myself obsessing, revisiting the issues, replaying conversations and advice over and over like a broken piece of vinyl.

This is what I've concluded: I just don't trust you. That's why I haven't accepted your Facebook friend request. I'm suspicious. I wonder: will you twist on me again when I'm not looking? Really. I haven't had this problem in crochet, and I'm nearly an expert with not one but two shell-stitch crochet skirts under my macrame belt (one doesn't fit remotely, but I digress). I don't have trouble with twisted stitches in sewing either, but with that hobby I'm not in the least bit concerned with making and connecting a circle of stitches.

So, you've twisted on me twice, yes twice. I'm beginning to wonder: is my Ribs lace tank top meant to be? This time around, I didn't let the twist ramble for two-three inches like I did the first time. Yesterday I got to the fifth row and said: "Aunt! (not Uncle)!"

I really tried hard not to let your bad behavior get to me. I went to Arcadia Knitting at noon yesterday. Instead of completely ripping back tank top attempt no. 1, I did a cable cast-on for all 220 stitches on the other end of the skein (smart!). Now here was where I let you take advantage of me: I casted on, knit row no. 1, and then I hitched my stitches to get onto the no. 22 bus to the Little Brothers of the Elderly shindig.

Major mistake. I should have stuck around the yarn shop little longer, at least until row no. 5, or at least I could safely say twisting isn't likely to happen now. But my stomaching was growling, and so I took off...to merrily knit and purl when the bus dodged last winter's potholes.

C., I only discovered your deception late last night, while I was working on the first lace section in what has to be the worst pre-sleep activity: a complicated knit row, fraught with peril with every yarn-over. I mean I should have been preoccupied with counting sheep, not stitching and sliding on row markers. This kind of nocturnal neurosis only leads to tossing and turning at 2 a.m.

However, I am happy to report I slept well and I got my full eight hours' of shut-eye (that goes with telling you to shut up). You didn't haunt my dreams. Just before turning out the light, I did wonder whether I should I go to Vogue Fabrics' free sewing demo tonight (it's all about neat ways to use stabilizer) or go to Loopy Yarns sweater night to work on this project yet again? I just don't know. I'm so frustrated.

You know how we solve this kind of problem in the sewing world? (C. - listen closely). We snip! the offending fabric. Flip the fabric so it's facing the proper direction. Make a Solvy sandwich, with the cut fabric serving as the proverbial slice of ham. We do free-motion stitching on top of the sandwich. Wash away the stabilizer. Voila! Problem solved. No more flipping.

I'm not ready to take my scissors (which are actually being sharpened at Vogue Fabrics) to my knitted fabric. I can't quite sever the relationship yet. I need to get still more advice. God help me.

Gotta go -

Mary Beth

That's It. We're Done.

Dear. C-

I've been in denial for the past three weeks. We're not a good match. We never were. I'm sorry. I just don't know how else to break it to you.

Sure, we had some good times. You were always good for long bus rides, hopping on the Metra train at short notice. I loved, loved how you were, time and time again, up for a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, even though you don't like fast-food coffee joints. I'll always remember the time we were on the El - headed downtown to Martini Park for a little dancing. You didn't flinch an eye when we went around the curve near the Sheridan Road stop, and ditto at Sedgewick. You're such a good sport, and you hate heights, although we were just a several Michael Jordans off the ground, not a full-fledged John Hancock building or even the skyscraper formerly known as the Sears Tower.

Like I said, I've been in denial for the past three weeks. Something wasn't right from the get-go. Something was twisted. I kept overlooking this, telling myself, "No, everything's fine. You're working in the round. That's why the fabric won't lay flat. You're knitting on circular needles."

So I kept going. Determined, as always. Valiant even. I'd unflip - or at least I thought - the oh so pretty lace every time I came to the beginning. Everything would fix itself once I cast off the last stitch I tried to convince myself. Yes, my ribbed tank top would look just divine and dandy.

However, last night I realized that all was not right. This relationship, albeit a circular one, wasn't going to make it through the summer. There would be no more rides on the CTA buses, no more laughs on the ride downtown to Martini Park, not even late nights of "Just One More Row Before I Go" to bed. No more of that. None!

While it appeared that I was nearly at the end of the my knitted Crest Waves, the bottom of my tank top, I thought....I think I'm going to have start over. For one last time, I tried to flatten the fabric, and as usual, it kept twisting. I thought, "I'm going to have accept it that I'm making a lace MOEBIUS STRIP." Yes, what I was making would be perfectly lovely in Cat Bordhi's book (She of the intentional knitted Moebius strip fame).

So unless I wanted something pretty and twisty around my neck, I've decided I'm going to have to frog this work in progress, the second such project in two months. I'm not going to complete any knitting this summer at the rate I'm going. I'm going to have a perpetual Groundhog Dog on the same darn thing. Back and forth on the Red Line, I'll be working on my bamboo needles, the same yarn getting more frayed by the minute. Babies will grow up and go to college before I tie this one off. Budget problems will be solved in Congress. New presidents will be elected. Couples will marry, procreate, move to Saudi Arabia for a job and then back...and all the while I'll be working on the same skein of Lion Brand Cotton-Ease (C.). Yes, I'm a thrifty girl, I am.

Okay, I'm finished venting, C. Like I said, we're finished. I don't want to see you again. I'll take a picture of you, C., just for the memories. I'm defriending you on Facebook...at least for a few hours. You can send me a new friend request later today. I promise I won't ignore or delete it. In the meantime, I'll be back at Arcadia Knitting at 12 noon sharp, to see if I can't salvage this project. Hopefully I won't have to cast on all 220 stitches yet again....just merely make sure I don't twist my work at the beginning. Yes, I'm really stubborn. I want to make this relationship work. Can you really forgive a girl for trying?

Love and kisses (at least for now),
Mary Beth